Thursday, January 31, 2008

Yeah... Bad Day.

My precious little kitty, who was about 11 months old, died today. She was always very tiny, when I got her spayed in October, and she only weighed 3 lbs they told me she probably had something wrong internally... To be an adult cat, and yet to be so small and stunted in growth. Anyway.... I'd been so very busy with work, working past midnight last night and not even showering until noon today because I'd been working since 7 with back to back conference calls and projects due. *sigh* I didn't check on her until about 3 and she was curled up in a corner, dieing. I know what a dieing animal looks like, I've seen a goat die right in front of me (mine, incidentally). I scooped her up and put her in the softest, warmest towel I had and rushed her to the vet. They did what they could, but she died 30 minutes later. The vet said it seemed like liver failure, because she had a hard lump where they liver is, and was hemmoraghing under her skin (I think, it's vague). Anyway.... that was so hard to take. She has been my little companion since J left, sleeping in my room each night and curling up on my lap as I worked or watched a movie at night. I feel so upset and alone, with no one to even give me a hug. I just hate that it happened. I've never had a cat die on me.... She was so small and precious. I don't want any more animals.... I don't want to have anything else to cry over right now.
So yeah I'm kinda sad. And I feel guilty for working so hard today and not noticing sooner (I thought her meow sounded wrong). So I'm back to work, probably until 2 or 3 today. Bleh. Anyway, here's my little princess kitty.




25 comments:

Kim said...

:O(

She was a beautiful kitty.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss....hang in there, you are in my thoughts.

andrea_jennine said...

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Katie said...

Oh, gosh, Sweetie. I am so sorry. Under "normal" circumstances, this would be tough enough. It's always hard to say good-bye to a beloved pet, even if we sense the end might be near.

But given the recent departure of your husband. . . well, it just adds a big dollop of unfair on top of the crap sundae.

My thoughts are with you. . .

Sunny said...

Major hugs.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry!

soapchick said...

I'm so sorry about the loss of your cat. I'm a major cat lover too, so I know how attached we get to our pets. I do hope that once your heart break lessens that you will get another kitten to hug. It will help with your husband being gone. Take care.

Meg said...

Such a cute little kitty. I am so sorry she left too early. Don't beat yourself up for not noticing her...if she wanted you to notice her and if she needed something, she would have come a tracked you down. You took care of her perfectly...so sorry. Take care of yourself this weekend.

LJ said...

Such a sad loss, I am sorry. Kitties really are great companions

andrea_jennine said...

How 'bout a little distraction? I tagged you for the six things meme.

Malloryn said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. She was really beautiful. ::hugs::

Maria said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is a very difficult thing to go through. Sometimes we love our pets even more than we ever realized. I'm sending you a big HUG right now.

Samantha said...

I'm so sorry. I also have had a cat die on me before its time, and I felt horrible that I didn't realize she was so sick sooner. But there was really nothing I could do, and the same is true in your situation. You gave her a good life for the time you could.

{hugs}

Carrie said...

This was such a sad post to read. I'm so sorry for you and your little cat.

None of it is your fault. It's just one of those terrible things.

Your having a rough time at the moment. Thinking of you xx

Ally said...

I am so, so sorry to hear about your kitty. They are such wonderful pets and companions and they leave such a hole in our hearts when they pass away. My husband and I lost two of our cats unexpectedly last year and it just broke our hearts. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Adriane said...

I am so, so sorry. She was so tiny and adorable.

JJ said...

I am so sorry! It is so tough loosing a furry friend. Thinking of you!

shinejil said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I just lost my favorite kitty two days ago. I completely feel your pain!

WISHING...HOPING...and PRAYING said...

really sorry about your loss!

CAM said...

Oh I am so sorry. It is so painful to lose a pet. I also lost a orange female kitten...and I was told by a vet that female orange cats typically have kidney and other organ problems. Ours had kidney failure. Just know that she had a great life with you...those are great happy pictures of her!
:)

Debby said...

Losing a pet rots! Gosh...isn't life just kicking you while you're down?! I'm so sorry and I hope maybe you can get another little kitty to fill the void soon.

Chris said...

Oh I'm so sorry about the loss of your sweet precious kitty. And I know there aren't words to cheer you up after yet another loss. I'll be thinking of you.

Searching said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty! I'm sure it hurts all the more to not have anyone there to grieve with you (although you now have the kitty you adopted). I had to put my best friend of 14.5 years down last Dec 6th. His ashes still sit just above me on my desk. I don't know what to do with them, but I miss him so much still and even typing this makes me cry. It's SO hard to lose a critter. I had my pet goat, my other baby, die in front of me too. I spent the night out in his stall on a hay bale with my arms around him, just sobbing. I was 13 years old. When he drew his last breath I ran into the house and my crying woke up my parents. It was awful. Also unexpected like your kitty. He got a bladder stone and his bladder burst. Horrible, awful way to die. That day I was picked up early from school because the big animal vet was coming (we lived in a Chicago suburb where no one had farm animals). I thought he just had an infection again, wasn't expecting that to be the last few hours I had with him. If I had known what was going to happen I would have asked for him to be put down. I still feel so guilty, 14 years later. So, I understand the pain, the grief, the guilt. If you ever want to talk about your kitties, my email is searching4hope at yahoo dot com. Hugs.

Bside- Kenya said...

Heard you needed a hug for your cat's passing. So sorry, I've been there. HUGS!!!- - Kenya babybevans.blogspot.com

Laura said...

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry! I know our fur-babies are just like family members.