Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Absent

Sorry I've been absent... This month has been busy. And now, in just a few days my husband will deploy for a ~70 day stint to the Middle East. I've been spending all my excess time with him... We even went this weekend to a lovely, luxurious mountain cabin in south-western NC. It was magical, and so perfect. But now we're back and counting down the days.

I did happen to do the Clomid Challenge Test this month, and I am so very pleased at how my FSH is looking.... On CD3 it was 7.34!!! Now, you all know I've been worried as I've only ever seent these numbers go up... And I know all the stuff about there that you're only as good as your worst FSH, but I don't have the profile of a high-FSH'er and now, with such a good number (for me) I'm thrilled. This past month I specifically prayed for a pregnancy and for my FSH numbers to be "fixed." I think I at least got that answered. Previously, I'd just worried myself sick practically about it. Then I figured, gosh I should pray! I'm so glad.

I had my second HSG (hysterosalpingogram). If the doctors (yes, the first one had such trouble he called another one in!) hadn't taken 25 minutes finding my cervix, it would have been "a breeze." I was really worried about this, because my last HSG was terrible. Not the procedure itself, that felt like an IUI. But the post-HSG was so painful, for about 22 hours. At one point I neraly couldn't walk right after it. This time? The dye was in and out before I even knew it! I hardly felt it. Both tubes open, uterus looks good. Same as last time. I have no idea why you have to do it pre-IVF because they don't care about the tubes anyway. Whatever! It's done.

We have to get our check out next month for IVF. The clinic "appears" to have changed their prices, but what they've really done is charge up front like you're doing ICSI, and if you don't end up needing it, they refund you that portion back. I want to discuss with the doctors whether to do it or not, but I lean VERY strongly towards it, because we had a lot of our eggs fertilize "abnormally" (i.e. multinucleated). Basically, to recap:
17 Eggs Retrieved
15 Eggs Mature
12 Eggs Fertilized
8 Fertilized Normally (4 were multinucleated)
This is an 80% fertilization rate, but only 67% normal fertilization. J has a lower-that-we'd-like Morphology, and that's something an Embryologist can look at to choose the most perfect looking sperm. This of course is just my opinion, that's why I'll have these stats in hand and talk to the RE's there and see if doing ICSI will help at all. Gosh, even if it'll just help those 3 eggs that didn't fertilize to fertilize, that's 3 more embryos to get a chance to grow.

I did hear from the clinic that their baseline dates start from the week of April 7-28. I think I'll be in the week April 21-25. If their baselines are still on Thursday, then I will very easily be able to predict EVERYTHING about the cycle (I actually had a spreadsheet for the IVF #1 before I actually did it, predicting if my baseline was such-and-such a date, & I started stims on such-and-such a date, then here's my predicted Retrieval/Transfer date. I was EXACTLY right.

Now, of course, I am due to ovulate this week (clomid always makes me late, the later I take it, and for the CCCT I took it CD5-9, so probably CD16-18 O date). So we'll have a chance at pregnancy, but I am just going to pray and hope.... It would be so nice not to have to do IVF again. But I'm ready, if it comes to that. At least I'll know this was our last chance before that. I actually never have minded IVF, and if it were closer I'd go so far as to call it pleasant (booking airfare and rental car, being out of my home, being away from my husband, all make it not fun). But anyway, I'll take delight in "shooting up" again.... And pray I get a live baby out of this.

After 5-8 (don't want to count) pregnancy announcements these last 2 weeks from people I am close to or acquainted with, I've decided to just stop thinking about it. People get pregnant, I'll don't think I'll ever be one of those people who get pregnant their first month trying, and can be uber-excited and not fear miscarraige, but it's life & I've gotta deal. It's my crisis, no one else's. Can't expect understanding from women- except from you my dear online friends!!! I cherish your support so much!

11 comments:

andrea_jennine said...

Good to hear an update. I hope your husband's deployment goes smoothly and quickly.

Adriane said...

Sorry to hear your husband is leaving. I hope he returns safely in 70 days.

Sounds like you will ovulate this week - maybe it will be your month!!! I hope it is!

Searching said...

Good to hear from you! I'll be praying along with you that THIS is the month. Also sending prayers with your husband while he is deployed.

Lea Bee said...

thanks so much for your comments on my blog. they were really helpful. congrats on your low FSH, and i hope the CC test is lucky for you in other ways as well. the clinic over here also charges up front for icsi and then refunds if necessary. maybe it's a military thing?

Elaine said...

Welcome back. I am glad your HSG was clear and that everything is moving forward for your next cycle.

Glenna Marshall said...

I'm glad to see an update from you!! I hope this next time goes well and "works" (that sounds weird to say). I pray your womb will be opened and that you will carry a baby to term.
I know what you mean about only these IF girls understanding! It's a lifeline at times!

Glenna Marshall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Samantha said...

That's going to be tough with your husband gone for the next 70 days. I'm glad you got to spend some quality time with him. I'm a fan of the NC mountains.

I'm glad the FSH level looked and good and the HSG was fine too. Hope you can just relax until your April start date - it will be here sooner than you know it!

Julie and Greg said...

I hope the deployment goes smoothly. I will pray for his safe return. Mine is due back in 2 weeks. It always feels like forever when they are gone and then when it gets close, it feels like time flew by! Hopefully 70 days will be here before you know it!

Laura said...

Good to hear from you! I will keep your husband in my prayers during his deployment. It sounds like he will be coming home about the time mine leaves.

Glad that you will ovulate before he leaves! :)

Katie said...

I am sorry that your husband is deploying, I am so grateful to both of you for the sacrifices that you make so the rest of us can enjoy our freedom. I will put you in my prayers.

Congratulations on the good FSH numbers and the good HSG.

No, you will never be one of those women who will "fly" through early pregnancy. Nor will you ever be one of those women who take your pregnancy or baby for granted.