Friday, April 24, 2009

This is me, finally updating.

Yeah, I am one of those bloggers. Have my baby and disappear from the bloggie world. There are a lot of reasons for this.... Let me list them, in order of importance.

1. I remember how painful it was to read about the joys and trials of mommyhood when all I wanted was to be pregnant and have my own child, and yet I never knew if I'd get to experience that. I would still read some of you guys' pregnancy/baby posts, but never comment. I know, sounds selfish. Self-preservation is what I call it. And some of you may do that too. I wouldn't blame you. But the idea of my going on and on about something that you may click on for amusement and then just leave hurting in the end for the longing of what you may not have.... Well, I just didn't want to do that.

2. I have had probably the most amazingly easy babies ever. She has never had any colic, health issues, tantrums, you name it. She is just happy, alert, a great nurser, great scheduler, great sleeper, and just perfect. My little buddy, I call her. And some of you going through IF and then having babies, who may read my blog, may feel pain with my success at having a good baby. So I didn't want to cause hurt there either. (On a side note, no, she's not sleeping through the night!!!! I haven't wanted her to. I love my nighttime nursing sessions. She goes 3 hrs during the day between feedings, and 4-6 at night. I nurse at 12/1am and 5/6am. I'd love to drop the 5/6am one. But I want to keep my supply nice and full, and I also treasure out nighttime cuddles and how drowsily she nurses. So don't measure my success as a parent by something I don't care about.)

3. Working 20 hours a week (with a desire to put in 30 hours a week), with a deployed husband, and a baby all to myself, working out my post-baby body daily (yay for Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and my stepper), a Bible study, church small group, and various friend get-togethers mid-week, and well there isn't much blogging time!

There you have it. And yet I feel like now I should at least post an update. Maybe I'll be better at this, maybe not. I am still subscribed to about 50 IF bloggers (and former IFers); I just don't comment anymore. Largely because I am too lazy to switch my usename back and forth between my personal google account and my IF one. How about some of you comment and tell me if you'd like to still read. I won't be offended if I don't get comments. Some things are just part of seasons of our lives... I'd resume this when we want to try IVF again, of course, maybe in 2010.

So, honestly this is how I feel about motherhood: If anyone had told me how utterly amazing and fun and wonderful it is, and I'd truly understood, I would have had an ever harder time waiting to be a momma. Motherhood fits me like a glove. I love every single minute of it. Really. Nursing has got to hands down be one of my very favorite, close, bonding, wonderful experiences. It took a while for me to truly adore it. The first few weeks I loved it, but with her nursing every two hours for an hour at a time, I had only about 45 minutes to do any task! So it was exhausting, even though rewarding. But Baby Girl is now on a 3-hour schedule, where she will Wake, Eat, Play for 1.5 hours, and then Nap for 1.5 hours. Repeat. All day. It suits us beautifully.

She went from taking an hour to eat, to 45 minutes, to 20 at around 9 weeks! I kept worrying she wasn't getting enough, because I guess I expected her to gradually get fast at eating. But I'd pump one side while she nursed, and I'd get 4oz every time in 10 minutes. So I knew she was getting around 6-8 oz if she ate at the rate I pumped. Plenty of good wet diapers and good skin elasticity as well, and weight gain, so again, proof she was well-fed!

I continually read about her development at what it should be, and what's coming up. She is always right on or slightly ahead. She loves being read to, and we go through all of her short books every day pretty much! I lie on the ground next to her, and hold it above my head so she can see the pictures. She loves this! She loves toys that dangle and shake and have bright reds and yellows. She does well for short periods of quiet time where I set her in a chair or swing just to watch me work in the kitchen or take a shower. In fact, every morning I wait to get my shower until she's up, so she gets 10-15 minutes of quiet time learning to sit and play by herself. Daily showers are not something I've ever missed since she was born, and I'm not ready to either! I have made it a priority.

She is however, very spoiled with all my attention. If I have someone over or have to put her in the car to drive to Atlanta, she will fuss and cry eventually because she is not getting face-to-face time with me. I have to be making eye contact with her. It's not good enough for her just to see me. I have to interact with her. Yes, I've created a firstborn with needs for my attention, but I love to lavish it on her, I don't know when she will have a sibling (whether via IVF or adoption), and so I'm willing to lavish lots of love and playtime on her. In fact, if she's awake, I try not to do much else, unless again I'm intentionally giving her the "quiet play time." I want her to learn that.

When she was firstborn, we pretty quickly implemented the 5 S's from Happiest Baby on the Block. They fit her to a T! She loves any kind of white noise (and now music, in the car, she loves), she adores being swaddled (I adore it too, so cute!), she likes the paci at times (it's a lifesaver when I've got 5 minutes to checkout at the grocery, but she's done. it'll buy me a little time!). I read in that book about the chart with how much newborn to 12 week old babies cry... Usually it was at least an hour a day. I felt shamelessly blessed, since she cried and still cries about 2-3 minutes a day. Less than 10 definitely. 10 if we've got a nap in the car or carseat if I was out running errands. Amazing.

I love carrying her in my whole-cloth wrap the best when I'm out at Wal-Mart or whatnot - she enjoys it so much as well! And my sling, if she's sleeping. She not as into that one now that she's bigger.

What else? Well, that's enough for now. Lots for you guys to read. And of course, here is the little princess!