Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Introducing Us...

Originally I started this blog wanting anonymity. It was at a time where I couldn't do treatments easily because we'd moved 1000 miles from the military infertility clinic. I also had recently encountered some really frustrating insensitive comments and such from super-fertile friends (hereafter called SFFs). I needed an online community (outside of forums) of ladies who GET IT. I needed the freedom to vent about my "friends" and not be afraid of being found.

As time has gone on, I've had less issues with my SFFs. I'm actually not so afraid of begin found anymore, but I honestly can't imagine being found by SFFs. Why would they come across an IF blog? I keep an entirely separate blog for IRL friends (being military we move so much, it's the only way to stay in touch w/people all over). I have seen people google my & my husband's names to find it. So I won't ever use our full names here, for that reason. What I'm not concerned about is you guys knowing who I am in real life.

With all that blathering, basically I'm trying to say, I care about my online friends and I like those who I actually can picture. So, I'm going to post a picture of us... On the happiest day of our life (3 1/2 yrs ago), this was my husband and me. Just so you all can get an idea of who we are. Because after this loss, you women have been SO AWESOME. Even the smallest "I'm sorry" has meant so much. I can't imagine going through this w/o you amazing women. I hope I can be as good to you all as you are to me.

I am actually feeling better. I am slowly piecing my life and emotions back together. The healing is coming slowly, but you can't just keep crying. I miss our baby, but I desperately want to try again.


22 comments:

Katie said...

Oh. My. Gosh. You are a gorgeous woman and your husband is adorable - and you two are so much in love, it jumps right off the screen.

I am so sorry that you have to feel this pain and agony. After my 11 week loss, I truly did not know how to pick up the pieces. Some days, I am still not sure that I have. It does get better, it will get better, but the hurting is so hard and something that no matter how much we want to, we can't do for you. I hurt with you, my heart aches for your loss, and I pray for you, your husband, and your little angel every single day. I hope that somehow, that helps.

If you need more, I am always here: soupgirl79@aol.com

amy said...

It's so nice to put a face with a blog. I also have a real life blog and an IF blog....that are kept separately!!!

My heart has been aching for you. Have you heard "Glory Baby" by Watermark? If not, you should check it out because it is amazing. Watermark is a husband and wife team and they wrote the song after they lost their first baby. Hopefully it will be a blessing to you.

Amy
dancingwithinfertility.blogspot.com

JJ said...

Beautiful picture of 2 people very much in love=) Thanks for sharing this...
Continuing prayers for you all...

Searching said...

I agree with the Watermark song. I love all their music. Even years ago, before babies were even a serious thought, it would reduce me to tears. But through tears comes healing.

You two are a gorgeous couple. Thank you for sharing a photo. One day I might, too, but I will admit I am a double-blogger too. I share more with my internet friends *you* than I ever will with people I know IRL. I'm afraid of judgment, of losing my jobs, of being cast out yet again. It has happened my entire life and with the last 1 1/2 years and this new job where only 2 people knew me, I found my chance to start over. So they see the "work me" and y'all get the "real me." Thanks for being a trustworthy and understanding friend. I appreciate your support so much.

Searching said...

BTW- I'm blaming you for my current tummyache. I was bad and ate 3 of those mint brownies. *Groan* They were just too good! I think I need to pack the rest up for hubby to take to work tomorrow!

Kim said...

Just as adorable as I had imagined!!!

Alice said...

What a gorgeous couple! And a lovely photo as well.

Buford Betty said...

What a cute couple! Just came across your blog... My hub and I are dealing with infertility also.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I'm so sorry for your loss but I'm glad you're feeling better.

WISHING...HOPING...and PRAYING said...

beautiful picture. i can totally relate...sometimes i feel like my infertility is a secret from my own sff. it is in part b/c i don't want to complain, but it is like i lead 2 lives b/c i keep the sadness inside. thanks for sharing part of you! (in real life!)

Malky B. said...

Beautiful picture. Let yourself cry as long as you need to. The healing will come in time.

Caro said...

Thank you for sharing this with us.

dmarie said...

I'm so sorry about your loss. I had no idea until I read your message. I'm so very sorry.

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The picture is beautiful! Thanks for sharing it.

Searching said...

Thank you for your sweet post. I have some more questions I want to ask my doc today, so thanks for letting me know all that info. It just ended up being a rough night. Thanks!

ms. c said...

What a beautiful picture. Thanks for sharing it, and all your thoughts, with us.
I'm just catching up here, and I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.

gracechild said...

you guys look so beautiful. you deserve the best & I will be praying for you.

Glenna Marshall said...

What a lovely couple you are!!! Thanks for sharing.

CAM said...

I am glad you are saying you want to try again. You have to push forward and know that there is something beautiful on the other side waiting for you.
:)

The Town Criers said...

It is such a beautiful picture. The simple position of your foreheads together conveys so much emotion and love.

Pam in Colorado said...

This picture is the the one they talk about that paints a thousand words. How utterly beautiful, loving and tender.

nancy said...

That is a beautiful picture. You two are beautiful together.

LJ said...

This picture is wonderful - thanks for sharing a little more of yourself.

Beautiful Curve said...

Wonderful photo...I lost a 22week pregnancy earlier this year...i am slowly accepting that this is God's will. God knew when he took my daughter home, the pain it would cause, but for some reason he did it anyway. I choose to trust him, and I am uncertain about the future but know that 'if He bring you to it, He will get you through it.