CD 26, BCP Day 22

Just a little update to say in a week I have my IVF Baseline appt! I'm excited to start this, very bewildered where we'll be in a month. But ready to do this now.

Also, my temps were up for about a week, but since they've gone down now FF took off my Ovulation day. Apparently BCP's work. Haha. Only 3 more pills and am I glad. I hate that they're a part of the IVF protocol.

There's very little else to say now, but I've got this draft I need to get out about Infertility and God. But until I get around to that, I'll just be checking all your sites like normal.

And remember those ladies I mentioned? Grace Is Still Enough and Baby Wait could use some hugs.

CD 19, BCP Day 15 & Other Peope's Updates

Ok so you fellow charters will have to help me on this. Have any of you still charted while on BCP's? Don't ask me why I guess after 2 years I just can't let go! (Plus the fact that according to my charting, my 1st 2 IUI's were performed after I ovulated!!!) Shoot, I'm gonna chart my IVF cycle, too! Anyway, I know birth control works in 3 ways, so in case one doesn't work the others hopefully will. 1. It should stop you from ovulating. 2. It should make cervival fluid hostile. 3. It should make endometrium hostile/thin to implantation. Now, #3 is exactly why my husband and I had a problem being on BCP ever - it could allow an egg to be fertilized, but not give it a place to implant. (Off topic: Although my research indicated the NuvaRing was WAY better at preventing ovulation than oral pills and if taken in conjunction with baby aspirin to keep the lining implant-able, we could do that in good conscience (and did). Shoot, clomid thinned the lining about the same as the Nuvaring!) My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/135722

ANWAY - my point is, FF is telling me I ovulated on CD 12. My earliest before has been CD13. So early for me, but believable. What do you guys believe? I don't think it matters one way or another, but I'm facinated by this!

On a not-so fun topic, I got my 3rd ever UTI this weekend. Symptoms appeared Saturday morning, but with plenty of fluids and a long bath I figured I could wait until Monday morning's sick call at base and avoid a long day in Urgent Care. Sunday = Much worse! Still, a bath at 6am from the pain that kept me from sleeping and more fluids and pure cranberry juice helped me feel 100% better. So church and a lasy afternoon. At smallgroup that night something inside me snapped and we had to leave pronto & go straight to Urgent Care. I could barely sit/stand and not cry! It was horrific. At this point there's obvious blood now too. Ick. Classic symptoms. I was diagnosed quickly and sent to a 24-hour CVS. I couldn't even stand at the counter, and the pharmacits noticed. He looked at my perscription and kindly asked if I needed a bathroom. I camped out there the entire 8 minute wait. J told me the pharmacist said, "I'll get this ready in 5 minutes, you go tend to her." So sweet! Yeah, I barely made it home and rushed to a 2 hour long bath, 800mg ibuprofen, and some relief. The horrible part? I brought this on myself. Without giving out too much intimate details, it involved J and me taking a trip to the lake, a midnight swim, and some adult fun. Oh Brother! What an idiot. Lesson learned.

I'm almost 100% aside from nausea from the ci.pro and odd pains in my lower stomach. Today we leave for a wonderful trip to Florida for 4 days of relaxation and great times. How I'm excited for that!!!

I know some of you are at times of importance in your cycles (SquarePeg,- IVF waiting for growing report after a bit of a disappointing fertilization report, Our Own Creation - FET #1 expecting beta today, Grace Is Still Enough - waiting to surge for IUI #1, Baby Wait - crazy betas and pee-sticks needing to know if she's got a beautiful living baby inside!). Say a prayer, go over and offer support, we all can use it. Love you all ladies....

Ponderings

While in church last Sunday, I had thoughts about how being in need actually increases our spiritual awareness.

When we were singing "Blessed Be Your Name", I realized times of suffering, pain, and darkness keep our spiritual senses acute. I know when I have a glaring need in my life, I am much more purposeful about times in the Word and prayer with the Lord. I recognize and know my need much more readily. Trials in life remind us this in not our home, and they remind us we're put here for more than earthly pleasure. Clearly there is something Eternal more worthy than all this.

I Peter 1:6-9 tells us, "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

I sang: "Blessed be Your name, On the road marked with suffering, Though there's pain in the offering, Blessed be Your name. Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise, When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your glorious name."

I thought how singing this at times in church is easy, and other times it's hard. Sometimes a song like this takes faith to even say the words. How often in San Antonio as the church sang this I could barely choke it out, tears just pouring rapidly. So today, in what feels like the calm before the storm, I sing - knowing soon I'll be tested on calling Him blessed and praising perhaps in darkness. I hope I'm ready. I find myself thinking more and more about IVF next month, religiously checking the blogs of my current friends doing IVF to see whether theirs failed or succeeded - as if that had any bearing on us! I find myself unable to grasp how I'd feel if it were a complete failure. So I just pray for a ready heart.

CD 6, BCP Day 2

My second day of BCP's. They are so tiny! I've never done BCP's so I found it interesting how they come packaged. I always wondered how someone didn't mess up the whole pill/placebo thing. I had my dr call in the perscription and he only called in one month's worth. At that time I didn't know exactly when AF would decide to come, and I knew it contained 21 pills, so that possibly could be enough. Well, AF showed on 7/29 and I was suppose to go in for CD3 blood work and to get my perscription. I was told to start on CD5 and take until Aug 26. I didn't do the math exactly, but it felt like I'd be a few pills short. When I got to the pharmacy the lady asked how many packs I was picking up.I said I needed 2, then she told me the dr only perscribed 1. So why'd she ask anyway! Agh. I tried to call the dr, but got a busy signal. Being too lazy to actually just walk over (same building, just a way's down) to Flight Medicine, I got my pills and left. I had pressing errands on base and had to be done to pick up J at 9:30.

I finished the errands and had time left over. So I then went back to Flight Medicine and tried to see the dr. He wasn't in, but the girl there said she could get another dr to perscribe me another pack (I was 6 short). She did, so I went back to the pharmacy. They were pretty slow! When they finally called me up, I got my stuff and left... and noticed they'd given me 3 packs plus 3 refills in the future!!! Sheesh.... Dr. L at the base knows I'm doing IVF (he had to order all the blood tests) but obviously the others thought I was just filling it for non-procreative purposes! Whatever. I figured if we have to do IVF #2 then at least I'll have the BCP's and won't have to worry about getting those.

I know my mom has been praying I wouldn't have to do IVF and would get pregnant naturally. I don't think she knows about the BCP's this month, so in her mind I still have one more chance. I still find it a bit hard that she can't fully support (rather, be happy with) our decision for medical intervention. Here's the funny part. If you have any sort of bodily aliment (even just a cold), she'll whisk you off to the dr and insist on medication! She rarely believes in letting your body naturally heal itself. But when it comes to IF, she hates doctor intervention and especially drugs! I think it's because she's a lady who baess other's experiences on what's worked for her. She & Dad tried 3 years to get pegnant with my oldest sister. She finally got pregnant and then I came 3 years later - so I think there was a few months of trying there. 20 months later the twins come. After that 4 more kids every 2 years, the last being when my mom was 41 - and they didn't particularly want it. She didn't need help, so why should I? Most of her stories - no, all I think! - are of friends with some sort of IF (she's never used that word - she just says "had trouble getting pregnant") that just prayed and tried, some up to 12 years. And finally it happened. I don't think she knows anyone who's adopted all their kids b/c they couldn't have any. So this colors her worldview a lot. Anyway, I still love her and tell her stuff, but I do not feel like I want to tell everything. My sister, & best friend after J, I tell everything to. And she really wants to hear. Even though she has 2 kids easily conceived (honeymoon baby & one 21 months later), she empathizes. I LOVE her!

Sorry to rant. 4 weeks to Baseline Appt. Sunny Texas! It'll be like a vacation, honestly. Visiting old friends and having fun. Plus I like my clinic and I don't dislike any of the drs (though I have my fav!).... So just waiting!