Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Shocked, Totally Shocked!!!

Um.... I got a call today from WH.... They offered me a lot in the August 2007 IVF program!!! I somehow never heard their call and then checked my voicemail. I figured they were telling me I got bumped into the Jan cycle... I almost fell out of my chair! I quickly told her YES!!!! The first thing to attend to is $2900 by the 4th week of June. All my 12 month tests are still good, but the 6 month ones have to be repeated. So for my I have to get blood drawn to test RPR, HIV, Hep B, Hep A, Hep C. J has to get tested for all that, plus do another SA. Poor him, and I don't even know where we'll do that. I'll get it figured out when I get my big packet of info, hopefully within a week.

So I'm extremely excited and at the same time timidly scared! I mean, I figured we'd at least get in 2 more IUI's before then! IVF seems so.... invasive. So serious. At times when I've lamented being "unexplained" I've thought I'd at least know more about my eggs/body/system and it's interaction with J's sperm if we could just do IVF! But now that it's on the horizon, I feel like I kinda didn't want to be here this fast. And yet, when the choices are August 07 or April 08, I'd choose August any day. But it at least gives me a small bit of hesitancy in my joy. Plus, let's all be real with ourselves here: IVF does not guarantee a baby. So there really isn't a reason for unabandoned excitement, with every treatment cautious optimism is a good frame of mind to be in. So that's where I am. I did not want to have to attempt to conceive a baby with lots of drugs, minor surgery, anesthesia (which I'm scared of), and a petri dish. I wanted babies conceived within my body. But I haven't been given that blessing, and so I seek after what's open to me: Medical Intervetion.

I created a tag called IVF. I never saw myself getting to that point....

5 comments:

andrea_jennine said...

Whew! I'm glad you got a spot in the August IVF program, although I totally understand the feelings of wondering how you got to that step so fast. IVF is intense, but it's funny how quickly "intense" feels "normal."

CAM said...

Great! This is exciting news. When we did our first round of ivf I was frightened mostly because it was "surgery" - it just seemed so crazy. I turned to my husband while in my gown and said "Can you believe this is OUR life?" I thought it was pretty easy (and...I'm a big baby)!! The anesthesia is so quick - I was only out for like 20 min. It was like a blink. Some cramping after, but very similar to IUI cramps. And, the transfer is just like an IUI.
Stay positive...you'll be great! :)

K said...

I know exactly what you mean! I keep saying to myself....are we REALLY doing IVF?? I can't believe it! I believe it's the right, and most aggressive thing to do though. The chances of success are so much better with IVF than with IUIs. Just think of it as a potential time saver!

Ann said...

I'm really glad you're able to do IVF sooner rather than later, because the waiting is what totally kills you. I am sure that by the time you're ready to start the cycle, you'll be more than ready, mentally.

Karen said...

I know that it's a bit bittersweet, but for me... the day I had my IVF consult was just a huge relief. I was moving on. I was doing something. I was getting ready to do something that would at least have the potential to give us more information about why things kept failing. Admittedly, I ended up pregnant and cancelling the IVF cycle, but it doesn't change the emotion I had in scheduling the IVF cycle in the first place. While on the one hand it feels like it shouldn't be a triumphant moment... it kind of is!

(Thanks for your comment on my blog this morning... no, those weren't 4D pictures... just normal U/S pictures. I haven't had any 4Ds, alas.)