We are planning on traveling back to NC (an 8 hour car trip) for the week between Christmas and New Year's. I don't know that the midwife will like it, and frankly it really unnerves me, thinking that at that point, I could go into labor, be 36 weeks, and be considered full-term. I don't want to have the baby without a midwife, without anyone I'm familiar with. But I guess I have to weigh the risks and stakes and be ok with going. Which I guess I am. Hmmm.
I doubt the baby is permanently head-down yet. They said she was at 33 weeks, but I know she's not "engaged" yet because I know what that feels like, when she's really settled in. I am not afraid of labor, but I do feel it's a huge, huge unknown that I'm really unprepared for, even as much as I read or practice.
I have had two baby showers now and felt utterly humbled and grateful and unworthy. I cried at each one, but made a special point to explain that I valued everyone's support, love and prayers that got us to this point, and I rather felt they should be the ones receiving the presents for going through "the trenches" with us. I am grateful for all the help with getting stuff though, because babies take a lot of stuff apparently!
So for now, I'll close with this, and some pictures that make my heart ache with happiness. I'm thinking of you all as another holiday approaches, especially those of you facing another milestone without the dear child you're so lonigng for. May this be your very last.
