Monday, July 2, 2007

Baseline Date!

Whoo-hoo! I got my baseline appointment date: August 30th! I start BCP's around the first of August, and last pill will be the 26th! I was afraid of having to take them for 2 months, but here it looks like 3-4 weeks! That makes me glad.

I'll fly out the 29th, early, for my peace of mind! Then I go in on the 30th at 6:30 for labs and an ultrasound. I've never had cysts that didn't leave the next cycle in my life, and with 2 months off meds, I could not imagine a problem (knock on wood!). I plan on flying out that afternoon back to GA. This means I get to spend Labor Day with my husband! Another thing to be grateful for. They can't tell me when I'll be back that next week, but I'm assuming Thursday/Friday. I'm glad I've done enough IUI's to predict somewhat how often I'm asked to come in.

I can't say how much this IVF has been a saving grace for my emotions. We are finally doing something agressive! It doesn't guarantee even a pregnancy, but we're trying! You see, when my cycle started this past Saturday, I wasn't upset and I didn't cry. Because it's just one more cycle closer to IVF. When I got home and checked a friend's blog (the friend who sent the sweet email on mother's day), I found out she's 9 weeks pregnant. I visited her last week in person and she said they were going to wait until late summer to try for #2. She had no idea (I totally don't relate to that)! When she'd told me that, I'd been thinking, "Good, maybe she'll only get pregnant a few weeks before my IVF and I won't find out until after mine is over and maybe we could be pregnant together. At least I don't have to find out before!" Ha! I was sincerely glad for her, and called her almost immediately. She was sweet. But late that night in bed, when I told my husband, the tears fell hard and fast. I don't know what it's like to be "surprised" by a pregnancy, and I certainly don't have the joy of producing a baby out of just the union of our love. And that pierces me deep down. As grateful as I am for IVF, I do mourn the loss of a dream.

But today, I made myself a pot of tea, went and got Day 3 labs drawn, and my annual gyn visit is this afternoon. That's the last thing to be done on our IVF checklist. Our check is sent & cashed, and now the waiting starts! Hooray. And in 2 days, I get to visit my family for July 4th and love on my 3rd old and 1 yr old nieces who I just adore!!!!


andrea_jennine said...

Isn't it a nice change of pace when the start of a new cycle brings excitement for the next steps, rather than extreme disappointment?

Ann said...

I can totally understand how you would be so excited about IVF. It's so nice to be able to take action, rather than just sitting around and waiting for something to happen. IVF is the ultimate in "taking action."

CAM said...

It is a great feeling to have those dates ahead of you and feel in control of the situation a bit. But, you are right that you miss the dream of being surprised by a pregnancy. We all mourn over the fact that our journey to becoming a mom isn't what we had planned. I think about it when I see moms out at the store or something and I wonder what it must feel like just to be able to pee on a stick and see 2 lines and be surprised?! I am excited for you and look forward to reading your blog in the upcoming months.

K said...

thank you so much for your latest comment on my blog. and you are absolutely right! I just need to focus on that - the fact that although sometimes I feel more negative, I'm also a MUCH more compassionate and empathetic person (around pregnancy and loss, etc.)than I was before this experience. Thank you for the help in adjusting my perspective!!